(Real quick at the top, just wanted to say that Articles will be coming soon, I’ll be writing about things like “Dating with an Ostomy”, “Partying with an Ostomy”, “How to have more confidence”, “How to own your disability”, “How to fight anxiety and depression the Juma way”; I want people with Disabilities/Anxiety/Depression to know that you don’t just have to have a normal life, you can have A DOPE LIFE FILLED WITH ADVENTURE AND SHENANIGANS JUST LIKE ME!
Not sure what’s happened in the last few days that helped so much (perhaps just some very good explaining from Tyga, Neo and one of my old wings who uses the same sites I do to garner techniques). I’ve always had an aversion to the “Friend Zone” (anything that put me in a platonic place with women in my life), but once I got into Pickup it got about 10 times worse. I don’t blame the Pickup community at all, the confidence and determination I learned from Pickup outweighs the negative aspects. However ever since my freshman year of college, when I invested 6 months on a girl I really liked (who only saw me as a friend), I have utterly been ruthless in my pursuit of avoiding the “Friend Zone”. This has unfortunately lead to some… well not so great situations; as in I’ve lost out on some great relationships (both platonic and actual relationships) simply because I’m terrified of being emotionally attached to someone who views me as “Just a friend”. I also used to feel like it was inferior and second place, however due to the help of my friends (God I’m happy I have good friends) I’m finally starting to realize that my views are not only incorrect; but they are PREVENTING ME from having meaningful relationships with women. I mean I got into Pickup to find an awesome girlfriend, not up my bedpost notch count. After my near death experience in the hospital I certainly became much more focused on my ambitions, but also my mind became more open and receptive. I started to see that the guys who were successful with having good long term relationships actually cared about, empathized and connected with women and that’s why it worked. Now I’m working on unlearning some of the Pickup mindsets (not confidence) and being more genuine on dates. I’ve really noticed the success going up! Combining the strength of what Pickup has taught me along with my already decently attractive traits and genuine personality, I’m starting to see much more success and my insecurity is disappearing. I’m growing up, it’s fucking DOPE!
Of course I’m not leaving Cold Approach Pickup behind, I love going out and meeting lots of new people (especially cute girls)! However I’m coming at it from a different angle now, the insecurity that was holding me back has disappeared and I can really connect better genuinely with people. Tonight was great, I went out with my old wing (who has nicknamed himself Austin Powers for this blog, LMAO), had an amazing time, picked up 14 numbers (two even texted back tonight!) More importantly I wasn’t results oriented, I was just having a great time running around with my buddies and meeting new people. I’m totally taking a new approach to dating and I think this could be the missing piece I’ve been searching for. Who knew the “Friend Zone” would actually be a boon for me? Hot Blonde MILF Who Texts a Lot (My date for tonight) flaked on me (she apparently forgot she had other plans but offered up Sunday as an alternative), old Pickup me would have written her off as not that interested; but that would be insecurity so I just chilled the fuck out and said we could go out Sunday instead. That may not seem like a big step but for a guy that utterly refused to tolerate any kind of flaky behavior and freaked out at girls that he barely knew (I could blame my anxiety here but that wouldn’t be taking responsibility now would it?)… I’m starting to get there.
Medically I seem to be doing pretty well, I’m able to do about 100-150 pushups in small sets (which is nuts because I shouldn’t be lifting at all) and I’m finally starting to be able to run again! I still have to wear the dressing because the hole in my stomach is still there but it’s much better now. I missed my Doc appointment today because unfortunately I was supposed to get there at 4:15 but traffic killed me. Hopefully I can get off this stupid lifting restriction earlier so I can start pursuing that goal of becoming… THE GREATEST OSTOMY FITNESS MODEL EVER!